Lowell, Massachusetts Church

Ever love something, but because of things that seem out of your control, you realize that it’s almost impossible to enjoy?

Life is hard.  No secret there.

Figuring out how to survive the daily, relentless pressures that come at us is part of life.

Our son (9) attends Catechism on Wednesday nights.  Four years ago, I would drop him off and then sit in the parking lot doing work on my laptop, until PREP class was over.

Three years ago, I changed the process and became a volunteer, as a classroom assistant.  The lead teacher has taught Catechism for about 15 years – a real pro.

Over and over in my mind, I mentally rehearsed being an awesome teacher, for those unexpected nights where I’m in charge.  One that inspires nine-year olds to pay attention and be fully engaged.  It never happens the way I visualize it.  Quitting seems like the best alternative to racking my brain and emotions into despair.

Sometimes the lead teacher is unable to attend, leaving me at the mercy of the students.  Call it the substitute-teacher syndrome.

Chaos.

It happens every time I am the (solo) lead teacher . They eat me alive with their ability to manipulate and control the classroom energy.

But not last night.

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