Categories
Dear Son

The health of our spirit has consequences

The health of our spirit has consequences.

It sounds obvious, but it’s our job to manage our health.

Neglect one area, the other four suffer.

Enhance one area, the other four benefit.

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Categories
Misinterpret

Chip

Florida sand trail
Unremarkable and ordinary situations can have outcomes that are shocking and tragic.

 

Bird feathers scattered on the ground
While running. This ended fatally for the bird.

 

He retired at 52 this past Summer. Chip, the father of our son’s Sunday School friend, responded to two (separate) local Police Officer murders.

A suicidal young couple that killed a Windermere Police officer before taking their own lives.

Plus, in a separate incident, two teens at the new LA Fitness construction site where another Windermere Police Officer was checking out their suspicious behavior at 4am – one of the teens fatally shot the officer.

Chip was a fire fighter for 25 years. He’s 52. We occasionally see each other at the gym. We haven’t seen each other since i retired 14 months ago. i chose not to mention i too am retired. Being retired is a major life milestone. But it pales in comparison to the dreams he has at night from those emergency responder calls.

 

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This website is about our spiritual health. To leave this site to read today’s post on my career health website, click here.

Then I Told Him That

“All I want to do is help you, and teach you, so you’ll learn the important things about life”.

He understands this.

Why? Because I’ve been saying it since he was an infant.

Over and over and over.

He knows that punishments or consequences are not something a parent wants to do, but something a great parent is obligated to do.

And we both are learning that even though society has long subscribed to “punishment for failure“, we are going to challenge the status quo with “reward for not failing“.

“Nothing you ever do for a child is ever wasted”.

So I Told Him This

“My goal is to help you”.

Had a “deep” conversation with our son (9) last night. He has several chores he’s responsible for. One of them is daily. This is the one that we discussed last night.

We finished our simple dinner from our screened-in back porch. The sun had set and it was dark outside, with only the light from inside the house gently illuminating our peaceful surroundings.

Conditioning led me to first offer a consequence for not doing what he is supposed to do. Then it hit me, what about a reward for doing it, instead of a punishment for not? We agreed to use both.

Generally, children are conditioned to think, “when you don’t do something you get in trouble”. I reminded him that the goal isn’t to catch him doing it wrong. The goal is grand and noble. And the goal is deceptively simple.

“My goal is to help you”.